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Old 10-14-2015, 10:42 PM   #6
Nigma
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,723
Battle Record: 28-20


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Ullr, I've really connected and enjoyed some of your previous verses but I can't say that about this one. I can you the topics influence on your verse however the writing lacked the complete package for me. Imagery was scarce and the plot development felt a bit disjointed. There are times when limited size benefit the overall outcome however I feel you needed to take advantage of the line count to put out an impacting verse (especially against Frank who will shamelessly double the lines of any opponent). This came off as a quick write to me.

Frank, solid quality. Visual and descriptive as usual. I particularly enjoyed how you bounced it back in forth through the timeline. Ending was kinda meh for me, plausibility seems stretched. A few forced rhymes I could complain about, and I will. Steered through a cheering of bets was ugly in an otherwise beautiful section. I think that was it tho tbh. Only other negative was a cohesive connection with the topic. It really didn't have anything to with that quote at all.

Wouldn't be surprised if this was an old verse of Franks or some shit since the topic relation was a gigantic stretch however with a lackluster showing by Ullr I can't vote against it.

+1 Frank
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