Battle reviews: By Adonis and GC (Unborn)
Spoken vs Dearg: This was a battle that highlighted the notion of the danger of posting too early. While, no one wrote a verse that was not worth reading, both verses felt rushed, disconnected, and directionless. I feel the compass of time would have served them well, but for some reason they were either excited or anxious to post early. While, I admire the volition to get the battle commenced quickly, one must ensure one’s verse is more suited for battle. Dearg won here because the readers felt it was more coherent.
Fraze vs YDK- YDK got a flawless here. YDK was more captivating, even though his usage of the word light became somewhat maddening, especially for someone that tries not to repeat a word if at all not necessary. Albeit, sometimes it is an important tool for emphasis and obviously YDK attempted to use emphasis, but the way he used it in the first lines started to make some of the lines stale and took away from the punch of the others lines, punch not in the battle rap sense though. Fraze took an approach where he essentially depicted the picture in our minds, using words such as guilt and canvass to make alive this image that is being sketched inside us at different segments in time. YDK depicted light in different shades of “light”, see what I did there. The fat kid waking up expecting breakfast was kind of cringe worthy to be honest, but YDK captured more the votes because he delivered something that was clearer and seemed to have pertinence and resonance to the lives of others. He always try to connect somehow with others, whether his aware of it or not.
MMLP vs Bobby- The topic with the horse tied to the plastic hair was hilarious with the caption and all. As I mentioned in my vote, I felt MMLP took this because he was simply more entertaining. Bobby took a direction that wasn’t distinctive, a topic we’ve all written about in some degree. And while writing about something similar to the dictum at large is not a necessary minus, here it did feel somewhat less awe inspiring. MMLP took it because he took a risk, wrote about something I myself never have written about, even though it’s not something that profound, but it worked because of its minimalism.
Mr. J vs Nigma- Nigma took it, he is on a roll, undefeated. The final decision came from our own president. It was truly a nail biter and either one could have took it. I myself vote for Mr. J for reasons I explained there. Voters were going back and forth, some drawn to Mr. J’s more lucid approach, while others to Nigma’s more technical savvy approach. One thing I did dislike though is seeing Nigma produce such a magnificent verse in all aspects last week and failing to maintain at least some of the same standard, I understand we can’t produce a gem every time, but to me that Edgar Allen Poe impersonation was just beautiful.
Vividlyvague vs Sovereign- There were two highlight here besides the verses was NYC’s vote and Sovereign’s rebuttal, can’t we all just get along, probably not. The second highlight was the resurrection of the dormant latent machine known as Zygote, so there must have been something about this battle that was stimulating for this rare phenomenon to emerge. Anyways, the competitors both did a story type of approach, one had more rust (Vividly) and one had more interesting editing (Sovereign). But, the way Vividly carried his story seemed to take the readers hearts more, maybe perhaps because his stanzas seemed like journal entries starting with the date or because the emotion was not as “bland’ as another commentator dissected. I believe Vividly took it here because each line was more microscopic, in the sense that it added more fulfillment to the scenery, while Sovereign was adding details that at times felt superfluous.
Timeless vs. Flo Real
Flo, you wrote a verse that has been done to death, but you added many layers and concepts and metaphors into the tale. While I loved that aspect, truly did, I felt some wording was not on par. “Scold and more”, the more part fell flat, like everything was detailed around it, then more rhymed so..... there were two other instances such as this that I won't go into. In any case, I really enjoyed this read start to end because of the layers with in it. Dope read.
Time, I liked the two seperate stanzas, the way you opened with character build up in each and gave me a view of two souls, this was dope. I prefered the opening stanza more because the second seemed less descriptive and more shock value, but either way, I enjoyed this verse. It was short, and given that you were actually able to implant quite a bit of detail inside. No real flaws here if I can be honest, that's a rarity. Some lines we say different, so the flow chopped a bit, but I realize that's just annunciation and lingo and shit. This was a solid verse, would have been a close call for me voting wise and in the end I would have given it to you with the tiniest of margin.
Godcomplex vs. Ullr
Ullr, you wrote a decent little short story and tried incorporating just overall sound writing as opposed to killing conceptually or mechanically. This was a cool read, but beyond that, just didn't have enough meat to it. The route you went was good, but it read like the books I read to my daughters. Not your best work here my friend.
GC, Conceptually this was a very sound read. While you went dark in a very slight manner, I did enjoy its short lived sceneary. But this verse incorporated one huge metaphor of life and illusions. I thought you murdered this topic because of that. You do have a knack for flipping topics nicely as you did the Barney verse. You can actually write these short stories on the surface, but between the lines give me something deep to ponder as well. Dope verse this week my friend. No questions asked in the victory.
Razah vs. NYCSPITZ
Razah, so this type of verse, a writer writing if you will, I have seen a ridiculous amount of times. I loved a few individual lines, but the rhyme scheme was so fucking basic man, mime, mind, mine time.... You added a couple inners within, which saved some lines, but still, not the greatest verse in my eyes. I have come to enjoy depth and concepts itch my brain more then anything, unfortunately, this did not. Solid writing though, just not my forte.
NYC, WTF @ that concept man? Too dope. The writing itself didn't hinder or fall flat, the concept mos def held me captive as I had no clue where you were going, that closer though.... fire. I can't say this is one of your better verses because your better verses are easily in my top 10 all time, but this is a good read. You hit all focal points in what I use to Judge with, from imagery to character build up to cadance to the very rare suprise ending. I think the voters got it wrong here, but since you are signed out, who gives a fuck, although I still wish I could read another something next week from your stick-N-puck ass.
frank vs. Eth
Frank, pulling a verse is mad childish.
EtH, you wrote a somber read, a story of love and searching, waiting patiently. This was written well actually, not the most complex rhyme scheme or mind blowing concept, but what you did is write a straight forward verse that was good enough in all facets of the game, good enough to beat quite a few verses this week. I'm still not sure about your ceiling in terms of skill, but what I have seen is the ability to utilize different styles and win. Good shit thus far, look forward to you vs. a highly motivated Nigma.
NO SHOW SHINE
2tripple0
This was a short verse about a man in search for his tribe, who gets married in the end before tax evasion, who meets his mom who wants him to grow the family tree, she explains something about law and how you studied it like a hai-ku...I don't know what the fuck all of this means nor adds up to bro. Focus more, lay something out, re-draft.