Sov- nice story and so forth but I didn't hmget how the story really correlated with one another plus the topic given... I felt it was a stretch u were writing towards and then the random word usages u were throwing in was like for rhyme sake. Being metaphorical helps if it makes send but if its for rhyme sake then u need to dead that shit.
Vivid- nice story and message. It was steady and developed an intriguing outlook as a reader. It gave insight towards what u were shooting for. The flaw I hated was the flow of things... it had some up and downs to the rhyme game u were using and made it some what irritable but tolerable for the stories sake nah mean.
V/ Viv
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Po'ethics
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