Fraze- this was a pretty cool take on the topic. The ending and sometimes throughout sorta connected, but it seems this piece told a fragmented story.
Whispers of a promised future yet to be obtained with
sibling sister history hunting mysteries to vanquish
amidst a mix of light and dark. these shadows that we're tracing
cannot contain the anguish. see it dripping from their faces.
This excerpt seems to have hinted at some sort of backstory but never got specific on how it led to the result:
a shame to see what once was verdant left deserted aint it
seems in spite our best efforts we’ll still be herded nameless
wretched masses massing left the victims of the brainless
Very vague piece but it had potential. I wish I could have seen a more complete version of this. It sounded pretty good on the face of it. Good job.
Ydk- funny thing is this is my second time voting on this battle. My previous shit was erased lol. I say that to say this: it took me three times reading to interpret this piece. I don't know what anyone else sees, but I see a piece on vanity and this generation's soulless laziness. This is such a relevant thing since social media runs our lives these days. I saw this with the light on our vanity, being the surface (selfies), etc. If I interpreted correctly, it looks like you have a pretty cool drop on your hands IMO . This was insightful and hopefully inciteful lol. I liked the overall message so that was kinda my focus in reading this. Good job.
I think both pieces chose the same format with two seemingly different subject matter approaches. I liked both. MVGT YDK the content and overall enjoyment of the verse.
__________________
Ahem.
|