Razah, I feel like if you either lengthened your lines or wrote more and gave more detail or depth then you could've taken this battle. Your verse just seemed small and incomplete. Your wording was alright, simple and got the job done. Concept was okay, nothing amazing but still worth the read. I think it's just length killed you here. It left a distaste in my mouth like I wanted more. No homo.
NYCSPITZ, the more complete written. I can't think of anything to really complain about besides revising more because the wording was awkward at times.
vote nyc
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