Frank, this kinda seemed all over the place. The long lines really don't do it for me. The story was pretty original, not very creative, but original nonetheless. Reminded me of Tom and Jerry for the most part. Wording was alright, pretty simple, could've been revised a bit. Imagery was your strong suit here for sure. I dunno, it was okay. Nothing mind blowing for a contender match though.
Eth, this was pretty good. Not a hundred percent sold on the concept but your writing made up for it. Wording was really simple but maintained a legit flow from beginning to end. Flow was cohesive enough. Overall a solid topical.
vote eth for the better topical.
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