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Old 10-05-2015, 07:56 AM   #8
Bobby Bigelow
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I felt both could have related to the topic a little more effectively. Dearg had a decent piece, I understood the struggling artist angle and it came together well for me in the end story-wise. I have to agree with Sovereign in terms of the piece being multi-heavy which took away from a good opportunity to expand on the idea more rather than having to search for the next multi, which might not have fit the scheme of what you were going for as well as something that could have been a single syllable rhyme. Just something to think about for next time.

For Spoken, I feel your piece was a little more thought provoking, but didnt relate to the topic as well as Dearg's did. This piece had its bright spots though. I really liked the rebel/treble line. While reading this I found the flow really easily and it was a breeze to get through but in the end I was looking for more relation to the topic and that is why my vote goes to Dearg.
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