Dearg, im having trouble as to where your verse relates to the topic at hand. You became rhyme heavy, relying on multis to carry you through. The transitioning from bar to bar was also tough to get through at certain times. Overall, not to sound like I dick, I didn't particularly enjoy this. You obviously rushed your ideas here and jumped around from thought to thought. Take more time next week to flesh out what you're going to pen down, it will help make your verse not seem so forced with every line.
Spoken, so now after reading your verse, you have very similar flaws as your opponent. The typos were annoying. It was hard to connect the verse with the topic given and a lot of the rhyming/multis seemed forced. You started off strong then kind of fell into an abyss of nothing and a half-ass ending.
Looks like both writers here need some WD40 asap. I'm not familiar with dear, but the rust is definitely showing with spokens verse. This is a tough battle to vote on, I think I have to go with Dearg for having a more rounded verse story-wise. Could see this going either way though.
V. DearG
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