1 minute critique just for you
flo real - remember that time I told you; you would improve? Well it happened. I have to call bullshit on under 10 minutes. Don't you know every number has to be multiplied by 4, kinda like the number of guys a girl tells you she has fucked. Just logic. Weren't you rhymenreason? Anyways I have 45 seconds left so I will not waste much more time. You wrote like a spartan with a spear by day / quill by night. Flow was much better than last week, and the weeks before. I enjoyed this excerpt very much so. Good work... Oh? I have 19 seconds left? Ok, let me re-read. "5 seconds left" yeah good shit - Sir William Ernest Henley would have been honored.
EtH
Nice effort young lad. Caused me to ponder me own youth as a plump fat boy with me pits all yellow and leaking from me shirt. Piece had a innocence to it. A elementary aspect. I liked that you were looking through the window like a good young lad reminiscing... Some vivid flashbacks. Perhaps a little more of that could've triggered a deeper connection between you and this piece. Nostalgic but could've been more Nostalgia.
I almost forgot to read the poem. Fantastic read, really.
Have to vote for who I think Sir William Ernest Henley would've enjoyed more here
MVGT Flo Real
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