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Old 09-30-2015, 05:08 PM   #4
Razah
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
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2000: So, was this like a 'dope raps verse' about yourself, and in that way, relating to the concept of 'still I rise'??

If so, that's pretty cool. Glad you enjoy writing. But, as far as criticism goes:

"But I aint no triangle but this like Bermuda way its so tropical"

Aww man, that line made me cringe. It was just... bad. I don't know. Kind of hated it to be honest, the Hitler line made me laugh though. Shit comes off like some drunk freestyle shit. Anyways, I feel like your take on topics could be a little more complex.. but, I did see someone mention you were some young kid?? Idk.. never hurts to take yourself out the box a bit.

MMLP nearly doubled the amount of lines that 2000 posted which I kind of thought was inappropriate. Yo, the verse was okay. Nothing special, nothing mind blowing, came off like a fun nursery rhyme, for grown people... who drink a lot.

Uhmm this could honestly go either wayyy but, I'ma have to vote for MMLP. I thought both verses were pretty simple. Neither had anything mind blowing, and I feel like MMLP had a more solid flow in his verse. Plus, I enjoy nursery rhymes, I'm grown, and I drink, a lot.

vMMLP
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