View Single Post
Old 09-30-2015, 04:51 PM   #9
Razah
rockkFresh
 
Razah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
Posts: 1,088
Battle Record: 8-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League

Rep Power: 11328545
Razah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant futureRazah has a brilliant future
Default

Hmm. I liked how YDK ended his verse. Short & sweet. The alliteration was pretty cool, and you kept a solid rhyme scheme through out. It also feels rushed. Kind of like you just wrote something quick to end up not no-showing. Either way, I rather see a battle then have another no show in the league.

NYC- The story on this was pretty cool. It was simple lines that brought forth so much more to me. Simple shit, like the slap boxing- Like yeahh, I remember being on that shit. Stuff like that made it stand out to me, I guess it made it able for me to relate. The rhyming was cool, nothing really too impressive but solid nonetheless. The only issues I had was the wording of certain things, to make 'em rhyme like:

"AND DON'T LEAVE OPEN THE DOOR"

"as the boy fell from floor twelve"

It just came out weird. I wouldn't say that shit like that, and I felt like you just did it to keep the rhyming going, and throw an internal in there.

So, yeah. I feel like YDK's verse was rushed and I felt like he could've won if he had gone a little longer. NYC's verse was cool, the story of it made it better for me. Im'a have to vote for him.

v-NYCSPITZ
Razah is offline