Netcees - View Single Post - serge t vs. jilti

Sovereign · 09-29-2015, 09:00 PM

SOVEREIGN'S VOTE ON BATTLE: jilti vs. Serge T

jilti: My feeling on this verse was that you had strong concepts, but your delivery was subpar. Your punchlines were clever enough to make me think, but not incomprehensible. That border is difficult to tread while maintaining humor, but you did so in a superb fashion. (The STP bar in particular was the funniest one I've seen in a long time.)

What I disliked about this verse was the execution, especially the scheming. I caught an apparently broken multi in there at one or two points; such errors kill even the most well-thought-out punchlines. Your flow could also use some work. If you can perfect your rhyming, mixing internals in with lengthy, sustained, non-broken schemes, you could be a serious contender. Final Score: 14/20

Serge T: I liked your rhyming in this verse, and you had a few decent punchlines. However, in terms of humor, conceptual complexity, and overall impact, your bars were much weaker than your opponent's. You also had shorter lines, and consequently, less material.

Your drop wasn't awful, but it was lacking in every area; severely so in some. I see potential in you, but you need to put in serious work. Final Score: 9/20

Final Thoughts: There's not that much for me to say on this one. Both had their high-points and their flaws, but one was more deficient. Good battle to both, and keep elevating.

jilti gets my vote over Serge T (14 - 9)

09-29-2015, 09:00 PM	#11
Sovereign The Bat God Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: The Crystal Labyrinth Posts: 106 Battle Record: 1-2 Rep Power: 0	SOVEREIGN'S VOTE ON BATTLE: jilti vs. Serge T jilti: My feeling on this verse was that you had strong concepts, but your delivery was subpar. Your punchlines were clever enough to make me think, but not incomprehensible. That border is difficult to tread while maintaining humor, but you did so in a superb fashion. (The STP bar in particular was the funniest one I've seen in a long time.) What I disliked about this verse was the execution, especially the scheming. I caught an apparently broken multi in there at one or two points; such errors kill even the most well-thought-out punchlines. Your flow could also use some work. If you can perfect your rhyming, mixing internals in with lengthy, sustained, non-broken schemes, you could be a serious contender. Final Score: 14/20 Serge T: I liked your rhyming in this verse, and you had a few decent punchlines. However, in terms of humor, conceptual complexity, and overall impact, your bars were much weaker than your opponent's. You also had shorter lines, and consequently, less material. Your drop wasn't awful, but it was lacking in every area; severely so in some. I see potential in you, but you need to put in serious work. Final Score: 9/20 Final Thoughts: There's not that much for me to say on this one. Both had their high-points and their flaws, but one was more deficient. Good battle to both, and keep elevating. jilti gets my vote over Serge T (14 - 9) __________________ Deadlier than flammable nitrate mixed with samples of nightshade or tactical knifeblades and the savagest primates Last edited by Sovereign; 10-01-2015 at 10:34 AM.