Frank - I had heard people comment before and was like "Meh, it's a gay drop. He's playing a gay character. I'm not so over-compensating that I can't even get through it" but I have to say, I'm only a few lines but "unpubed groin" is already making this piece extremely uncomfortable. As I read on, I fucking hope you suck at imagery. Wait a fucking sec, didn't I just say to someone else about saying "shutter" last week? Is there some weird thing where Netcees thinks the expression is "shutter to think"? Maybe Americans say that? Nah fuck off it's shudder no matter what. "Tiny testicles"...maaaaan. You better fucking hope you never get wrapped up in some bullshit in the future that hits a high level. This is the kind of shit that turns up on the news where they say "No way he wasnt thinking of this". Anyways, yet again you try to scheme the whole way through, which would be impressive had the syllable count not been off multiple times. The storyline made a lot more sense than last week but was still very all over the place. They are kids. It doesnt matter if one's gay. Kids don't fuck each other. And anyways, you put it across like this was rape. Steve wasn't happy about it at any moment...and then he turned out to be gay? And what was with the random butler molestation? Easily the most uncomfortable Ive ever been reading a verse. I don't like your gimmick. You try to pass it off like you don't give a fuck about this. Scheme the whole thing crazy and weird topics, but it reminds me of the conversation between Michael and Trevor in GTA 5. Trevor wears specifically dirty clothes, he tries to seem like he doesnt care...he's a hipster. (My lights literally flickered when typing that...Frank...is that you?). Ironically it puts my internet off to...great.
Mr J - I found the topic to be a bit vague and confusing for my liking. You're in hospital, you're either on or just getting morphine...and that's as far as I know. Everything was written too specifically complex and I know some people like that style but I like to get the point. I know this picture is nuts and crazy (and Frank wrote sort of to the rainbows and nothing else) but I felt this piece was a bit too nuts and crazy for me. Whenever I struggle to get the point of a piece, it brings everything down a notch. I struggle with an image when one second there's a Jurrasic Park reference, a reference to an old bell, now in a hospital. Did you die at the end as well? Why would they administer morphine to someone who's about to die? I dunno, didn't really get most of what was happening here and it's not my writing style.
Overall, get the fuck out of here. How the fuck can I possible say what I'm about to say? I found one uncomfortable, and I didn't get one at all. How the fuck can I find this close? And even worse, how the fuck am I actually about to say this...
EDIT: Actually no. I change my mind. The fact that Frank barely wrote to the picture what so ever changes my outlook.
MVGT: Mr J
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