I thought your verses made sense, your last post in this thread just didnt haha.
The only problem with your verses is they seemed a little bit scattered and didn't have any real strong or original topic. That's something that really takes a lot of thought though, and because you enjoy writing quickly and getting it done, a lot of that extra stuff that makes a verse great is gonna escape.
A verse doesn't NEED good grammar and vocab. Some guys can write in "rap speak" and still have an amazing verse. It's just reaaaaally hard to make it good so most people don't do it.
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