View Single Post
Old 09-22-2015, 09:20 PM   #7
UnbornBuddha
Senior Member
 
UnbornBuddha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 1,008
Battle Record: 23-10


Champed
- Art of Writing League
- AOWL Season 5

Rep Power: 23856379
UnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant futureUnbornBuddha has a brilliant future
Default

Eth: Your writing was more poignant here, albeit admittingly I do get quite bored reading war based topicals. Mostly, because they been done to death. And, I felt you didn't introduce any mind-boggling twists to it that will justify the direction. However, I did like quite a number of lines: metallic teardrops", "my blood frozen white", etc.

Spoken: You maintained a good flow, mostly due to the internals, although you were not as technically proficient as your opponent, mainly due to few multisyllabic strings, you had some here and there. Albeit, nowadays I have become less concerned with that aspect, yet I still think it adds a lot of value to verse, especially if the schemes are intricate enough. The content itself was more powerful, mostly due to the metaphysical implications that you implanted and the sacrificial aspect of it added to the impact.

Vote: Spoken
UnbornBuddha is offline