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Old 09-16-2015, 07:27 PM   #6
Mr. J
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,046
Battle Record: 35-45


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Flo, I enjoyed your piece but I hate when people use the first letter to build up towards the concept
I hate it mainly because I enjoy receiving the message as I proceed in reading the writing
it limits the pace of your piece basing it on the concept of your topic, I liked the idea you rolled with though
i'm unsure of who you really are so I am unable to decipher if I read a piece of yours or not...
regardless i felt the pacing of your piece suffered from painting the picture with the bolding
otherwise I felt you delivered some cool lines that made me enjoy this as a mixture of thoughts...nice work

Frank..I'm indifferent about your piece, I thought the idea was presented pretty cool
but then I reach the end which is obviously a cop out for the ending I believe...
the concept you put together from the jump was nicely put together, and added to your well known style of write
although the font you had used is an eyesore, it's cute for added effect to the "letter" aspect you use
but when you turn around and say verse I feel it effects you same with the idea of AOWL moderator idea...
I had no issue with you taking over until this came across the ending...
which is another cop out for me...


I'm kind of let down by this battle, I was looking forward to seeing both writers perform
although they both came with decent verses I feel like the ideas came across as beginners work
maybe it's rust from both writers...maybe it's something else...regardless I shall vote for Frank...
I felt like he delivered a stronger set up as far as wording goes
had Flo came properly with more to his verse it would have been great..
either way.....cool little battle



v/Frank
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