spoken, enjoyed your verse, thought the fourth section was the strongest.
I struggles to find cohesiveness throughout the stanzas, not sure if that was intended...
I really liked the 'her gestures are like old R&B songs' line, great visual imagery there.
would have liked to see more like that.
Vulg, very well crafted story of the tree, and how it came to stand in such solitude.
The second line is the best in the piece, imo, good job at bringing the feel of loniless which encompasses the tree. 'Stoned a toddler at sunrise' adds just enough darkness.
v/vulgar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver
Sorry for your lost
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philosophy.
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