Frank was good at parts, but his stuff has too much put there seemingly just for the sake of rhyme, and it detracts from the feel of the piece for me, anyway. Like the 'I am writing to you from a warzone, we're in the middle of a relentless hectic ordeal' line, for example. Nobody would ever write that, ever, much less in the middle of a war. it's just there to create a multi, and well, why? This is poetry writing, not swag and flow. Anyways, this was an issue with all of the pieces, have to say I thought the arabic one was your best, but still suffered from the above mentioned issue.
Lars, I liked yours even though you said 'I'd never of grown,' instead of 'I'd never have grown,' which I would expect from someone like Flow Kanvas, but never from an actual Englishmen, and honestly, I wanted to vote against you just for that, but you put enough symbolism and allegorical wordplay into your verse, that it quite easily rose above Frank's efforts.
v/Lars
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver
Sorry for your lost
|
philosophy.
|