[UnbornBuddha]

I thought this was really good.

Albeit, I do have some gripes, but I enjoyed the read, it was an exceptional match. Just wanted to let you guys know that, before I have to declare a winner, for me at least.

Lars: i don't why, but every time I write your name I think of Sars, lol, it might be because your pen game is sick, pardon the platitude. Anyways, I thought the narrator's voice here was great, I really don't have anything to say with it. There are some weirded worded phrases here and there, "Higher I'm inching now". I will say that as a writer, as of late, you are becoming very powerful in your clarity and intention. However, I have noticed, in order to fulfill this objective, you have simplified your work. And I think your work was more on the simple side to begin with, not simple as in novice, but simple in how you create and address everything. Everything is very clear. I think you struck a perfect balance because obviously you still like complex schemes and whatnot. However, I have noticed that you have become simpler which sometimes makes some lines appear amateurish, even though as a whole your work is of a high caliber. I think it is a fine line you're walking, you're sacrificing a certain sense for another, I've even seen Deadman do this as of late. But, he wasn't simple to begin with, so simplicity has served him well. Just my thoughts.

Frank: I loved the first story, but will be honest with you. Pieces like this have been done before, I read a Zygote verse where a machine is playing chess and he has another link where you manually follow every move. I obviously don't think you are copying but do see that it might not be as creative as it appears to be. But, you did add another spin to it, by making it seem extraterrestrial like. I enjoyed it fully. All the numbers, though, do make it seem less impersonal, which is your goal, but at the same time keeps the reader from becoming entrenched fully due to the technical language of the game. The second story was very detailed and crafted in such a way where's one retinas are ingrained the living image. The picture came to life. The third verse, I wasn't really fond of, kind of dull to be honest. When I was in the championship in the league, not too long ago, I also tried to combine two of the pictures to tell a story, but my intention was to connect them. I didn't do a good job, so the readers thought I wrote different tales. You on the other hand, wrote different tales, and for some reason it leaves a bad impression. I'm not impressed by you being able to write to all three topics and then presenting them as a cohesive piece. I'm more impressed by the material and how well you wrote for some of the like I said the third verse felt bland to me. I also don't think your writing here translates into poetry. It's more of a narrative, which I enjoy thoroughly, but since it is a poetry league, my inclination is to go toward what I consider more poetic like, at least to me. I think here you did too much, and while that is not a problem for me in many cases, I think here you went overboard. If you focused your effort into crafting one magnum opus, instead of three, it would be much better received and regarded.

Thus, I'm going to go with Lars. Thanks for the read though.