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Old 09-03-2015, 08:27 PM   #14
Nigma
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,723
Battle Record: 28-20


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Buckclut, sweet opener. Ivory marble/shines as it sparkles was leigh jit. Mechanically, I loved your use of slant rhymes in the transitions. Strong, unique end rhymes as well. Vocab and wording was elegant. WHAT you described was as impressive of how you described it. The bit about her not being used to her legs was delicious. Fitting closer as well. Very nice execution in this verse that paired the picture start to finish. No complaints.

Timeless, attention grabbing opening sequence. First line had good draw and the following 2 bars moved forward with interesting imagery. Mechanically this verse was on point and had close to the same polish as your competitor. There were a few times your wording through me off, the bruise-kept times bit stands out as an example but there were one or two other scenarios. Aside from that, the only complaint I had was that I didn't see the topic picture in your verse as much as I did you opponents.


Both came correct with enjoyable reads however I edge Lars in terms of nailing the topic and providing a more consistently enjoyable verse.

+1 Clutbuck
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