Ullr - I could be off with this observation but it did seem like this was more rushed than usual from you. The wording was nicely done in some parts, although I do think there was some overdramatization where there might have been patient iteration of the events occurring. The fast-paced, frenetic type of rhyme scheme didn't slow down from start to finish, a customary approach from you when you attack a topic thoroughly. The dentist concept is a good interpretation. Writing wise it was quality. I'd like to see a patient, poetic, minimalist style from you, just for the sake of seeing if it works wonders for your adaptation to different forms of poetry with relaxed tempo's. I liked the use of the word 'base' here - and this is where you can shine more, in those instances where a word is executed admirably.
MMLP - I liked the angle you took with the topic. I read this as an open narrator until you mentioned 'grandkids' so it changed a bit in my head. The language was satisfactory, though this left me wanting more. The settings and characters that were plainly described could maybe have done with personal touch, a bit of personality exertion on the part of the older narrator. Usually older folks have a lot to say about life, and how they feel about death should be regarded with respect, as they are closer to it than anyone else. Cool write.
My vote goes to Ullr for something with more pulp and that I could grasp hold of.
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