View Single Post
Old 08-31-2015, 12:22 AM   #10
Woke
Senior Member
 
Woke's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 183
Battle Record: 6-4



Rep Power: 553418
Woke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant futureWoke has a brilliant future
Default

Dog - Intimately with death? intimacy to death? You wrote a true poem though, a homage to converse and the wearing over time. I believe it was the third stanza where you explained the unfasting and breaking down of heels and shit, I liked that section. Overall a dope verse in a sense. It's not common that someone can write about something so simple in length in way that doesn't grow stagnant or stale and keeps the interest from a readers stand point. You did so well. I did not like the attachment to the topic and felt like that was the after thought for you, but it was there none the less. Solid read in which I enjoyed.

Fraze - I enjoyed this verse but I don't think the bit about france and big ben really fit in. I could have done with out that. Given the topic, the concept wasn't magnificent, but at the same time is not something I would have thought of, and you executed it well up until the end. You through in the red lights and catching a case for effect, but I don't think that was needed. Simply saying what the boomerang was doing and returning home would have been more effective then adding in some "twist" for shock value and shit you know? Aside from that middle section and the ending, which wasn't bad per say, this was a very solid verse in which I thoroughly enjoyed including the take on the concept. If you used a different ending you had my vote easily


v/ Dog

dope battle, close one in actuality. Well I liked dog verse more as a whole, I thought fraze did more with the topic and executed that shit well up to a point.
Woke is offline