[UnbornBuddha]

Split: You really went in this week... Anyways, I was finding a difficulty deciphering who was this "she". Was she a metaphor or was she really a person, the reason I ask is because she was a fulcrum where many of the scenes unraveled from. I'm going to assume she is a person. I also had the same thought as the other commentator, who stated your turn of phrase and interesting wording is very similar to Deadman, albeit he has more philosophical implications, while yours is based more on a personal and emotional context. The place and time seems to be placed not just in a linear time line, but more of a sequential loop where the character reminisces from the beginning, but from a standpoint of the future, but a future that lies only minutes ahead, a collage of memories with splashes of overarching themes of love and learning, as well as physical contact that seems to slip away ever so elusively. I will admit I liked some stanzas better than others, some were more simple than others, but not in a way that added the peacefulness found in simplicity, the juxtaposition sometimes was jarring, i.g. "darkness makes it hard". Some stanzas were very beautiful, the liquid touchscreen, miniature cosmos, the repetition of certain words that have some sense of the same vibration, earthen, barren, etc was a cool little mood effect.

Vulgar: You have a very curious nature and your style is completely your own. I read a lot and I can safely say that your style is its own mark. Sometimes you take us into this strange journeys with the most obscure references, at least to me. But, you nevertheless paint a picture and make a statement. Sometimes your writing leaves more of an impression than a message, here I received the former. So from this I interpreted it as a Jewish Rabbi leading a band of unorthodox believers into an early retirement, but perhaps into the dunes that represent a departure of what they deem paradise as. It might be as simple as a traveling band of religious affiliates who are essential spiritual nomadic vagabonds, who have no homes, kind of like the Desert Fathers. The last stanza depicts the subjectiveness of belief and its systematic basis we build around their justification, entire sciences, arts, and civilizations to try to make them into realistic depictions. Ha ha, hmm, I have more half-baked theories, but I'll leave it at that. My favorite line was: "Canaanites into sapphire clouds and holiday arches". I'm also trying to comprehend the meaning of pomegranates here, but oh well.

This is a hard vote, very different styles that in a way are hard to compare to each other.

But, I might edge it to Split here, not because he wrote more, because I didn't like everything he wrote, as I stated, while I liked a bit more Vulgar's because everything was a bit more coherent in terms of how everything meshed. Yet, Split came with something more tangible that I was in the mood for this afternoon. So, really it comes down to that, what I'm feeling is aligned with my day today, even though I did read Vulgar's more times simply because its shorter and more to the point, I still am resonating more with Split's approach this time, it had more of a filling or shifting effect on this enigmatic gorge, we call our mood.

Vote: Split