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Old 08-22-2015, 04:35 AM   #5
MMLP
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 614
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Rakontaur
I really like this piece, (LOL confession time) at 28 I'm finding myself researching into science/ space a whole more for whatever reason, so this was intriguing. It was well structured, fluent, no lines were dragged out, cleverly descriptive. "A kissing bye of sun soaked eyes" was one of the best lines of the battle. I did have to look up what 'egregious' meant so maybe I'm not as cut out for the lgpa as I thought. Nothing really bad to say about it.



Innovator
Same with your piece tbh, not a lot to critique. From poetic point of view, the concept was great. To take that title n make it into the perspective of a blind person is tragic yet brilliant, it sounds simple now I think of it but the fact is I/we didn't. Maybe a little more subtly might of helped, a previous career/ trade in which 'feel' alone reignited previous moments or something by that really is nit picking.

With very little to between both, it comes to what captured me more, the creative twist of the concept behind innovators grabbed me that little bit more.

Pleasure to read lads!
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