[PancakeBrah]

Godcomplex-

"Holding the world ransom, is this really what we wanted?
To spread oblivion in a socially unconscious planet
Somewhere down the line, we lost sight of our aim
And became part of the same design we disdained; "

Best section, well done here.

There were one or two instances of weird grammar but aside from that, a good technical verse. The approach to the topic was straight-forward. You touched on some unique ideas that could've been the basis for the entire verse itself. This verse gave a real feeling of self-resignation. This was highlighted by the last line of the section I quoted, which was my favorite line of the piece. I think going to the nuclear extreme (literally) was a bit out of place. The essence of the topic was the humanity and dullness of revolution, and I think a smaller scope would've honed in on the topic a bit better. A small complaint. This wasn't a HOF level verse but very serviceable and solid. Thanks for the read.

asylum;

"Sprayed one shot at the clouds to test for a jam, got up and ran,
pellets pelted his jacket and cracked his welding mask’s glasses,"

"once proud masses hid behind trashcans from massive waves of led,"

Favorite lines/sections. The first line of the first quote was a nice touch of detail that you don't see too often.

The first line threw me off a bit, with the ancient armor descriptor. Much like your opponent, your take on the topic was straight on. Some of your rhymes were pretty basic, some where nicely complex. Much like your opponent, this wasn't an elite verse but a solidly executed take.


Overall, this was a close call. I think that Godcomplex had a couple more lines that took a deeper examination into the topic itself. The takes were similar, and the verses themselves had some similarity. GC was slightly more thought provoking, I think. Enough to offset some of the extremity I thought was unwarranted in his verse. Good battle, close call.

Godcomplex