Ullr
Ok so i feel like you went overboard with the first half
Of your verse. Alliteration is cool if done subtly, i feel like
This wasnt subtle lol. No offense man it was dope. But it
Didn't really go anywhere. Tbh if this wasnt your opening
Stanza or half it probably could of been looked over because
The rest of thw piece is outstanding. Cool verse man i enjoyed
The angle you took but i feel like you stumbled enoigh to lose this.
Razah
Opening line does the puppet see the puppeteers tears. Maannnn very slick rhyming
And unlike ullr you set a much better tone for the rest of the piece. I think your diction
Is my fav part of ypur verse. Very creative wording through out making this a much
More interesting piece to read.
Overall
I think ama go with razah only because ullr seems to slip up at the beginning of his piece
Which really hindered the rest of the verse regardless of how good it was written. Razah managed to keep a dope story going with sound mechanics. Enjoyed this battle foreal.
Razah
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