Godcomplex
Man the story told here was dope. I enjoyed it. First you establish
The reasoning of your character. A much nobler cause to fight for
Than politics right? Give off the right tone for whats to come. The
Progession is amazing, u had a steady pace with great character
Development. I really enjoyed the " had to kill my fellow men" lines.
I dunno its so simple yet so profound. Great stuff there. The twist was
A good one becuase your wrote it good. The detail to the small things
That make a man change. I saw it all here. Very dope verse bro.
Asylum
Best verse ive read from you. Man you got on a roll from the opening line
And kept that flow crisp and flowing. The story was interesting from beginning
To this part.
Quote:
Paid by wages of people fighting against politics turned volatile,
facts of no concern when facing a twenty thousand large obstacle,
taking little losses, filling plots with victims of power and greed,
those against the powers that be are never cowards that flee.
Live ammunition’s approved against the opposition,
fuel for future trees that’d grow, trophies from days of attrition,
once proud masses hid behind trashcans from massive waves of led,
they could have forgave them instead, but behaved like were bred.
A product of turmoil and power, their blood boiled and gave them the hour,
as a last gift against taxes that didn’t represent people who were heaven sent,
from benevolent claws into the jaws of the machine.
Few fought, but the scheme continues in every war,
waged against those who never intended to explore.
In times of the past where some slept, we always grow,
to keep unity, in unison towards the future histo
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Man the imagery before this was onpoint and you had a dope
Story going. But i feel like you lost track here and went off
On a tangent. It wasnt as cohesive as the first half of your piece
Either way man this was a great showing. Thanks for the read
Overall
I got complex taking this. I feel like he was more consistent with what
He presented. Kept it together towards the end while managing to
Produce a dope storyline chalked full of imagery. Dope tbh