[Split Eight]

was wearing my glasses at the beach like an idiot, fell off my friends skimboard and the ocean ripped them right off my face. I have contacts, the problem is I can only really wear them for 12 hours before it feels like I'm going to tear my cornea taking them out

of course, my friends pick the latest goddamn showing of Straight Outta Compton at the drive through for tonight, so I'm trying to make it till AT LEAST ~11:30 before I put those in

Also, I'm supposed to play 18 holes with my friend before he moves to Philly. That tee time is today at like 11:30 am. I'm fucking terrible at golf, lose 5 strokes on the green every time. Normally I'd be about it, but this asshole wants to do a 9 hole Par 3 TWICE with lunch in between

Who the fuck wants to play a par 3? Who wants to play 9 hole amateur hour mini putt status courses? Who wants to do that 2x and pay $15 for a bullshit watercress sandwich?

So now I'm roped into paying $60 to get last place, while dealing with a comprehensive upper body sunburn, and trying to push my contacts as long as they'll go

Already got a flask w/ Jameson in it to make it somewhat enjoyable, debating just not rocking contacts too and seeing if i can fake it with a -4.50 prescription