[dead man]

ok, im am just going to run and in an attempt to make out something of substance so my vote is clear. even though zyogote posted first im starting with red. yo..ive been steadily surprised by how much i actually enjoyed your verses, or at least those that ive read. still not quite sure who you are in alias form but its all good. case in point, i think it was brave from a competitive aspect to choose the form of verse - hyper conversational, unconventionally structured in terms of letters and rhythm it was definitely a bit draggy from the jump but as i grew more adapted to your intentions it became easier to read. my main issue is a single contrasting point that distinguished your verse form zygotes. you gave a very literal take on what a flashbulb memory for truman would have been like. you put something on a projector and seemed to lecture and give context to quotes rather than carve your own project. you did not scrape into something succinct and unique from your historical discourse which is truly how it felt. dates, times, dialogue that seemed unfocused at times.. i think what harmed you was your deliverance. all substance, half summary, no style. i didn't feel anything human about this piece of writing except that it involved them. i understand your ambition and determination to write something epic to overthrow the champ and i think people's hesitance to vote on this battle may stem from a collective guilt to fault either of you for the obvious efforts put in by both parties. however nearing 100 lines covering the ground you ultimately were able to really just came off as a huge stretch. there were huge holes on your part that lacked anything except a bridge.. a transitory points between essential components which should have made up every line of this, being the level of matchup this was. that being said, i think it was a fantastic effort on your part to do your research to the extent that i'm sure it took in order to write a fucking behemoth like this. i know this wasn't just off your head man. and if it was you must read textbooks in your sleep. ZYGOTE unlike red, you almost threw us into a world where we're supposed to already know how to navigate. the references and themes you speak on are not discussed as a historical concept marked on a calendar but as a reality and something being as it is in the moment. this focused not on the literal parallel between truman and truman's life, or events in the period etc. instead it took a central trait and ran with it, not what the statement from truman said, but what it didn't say.. the Petr Vilshenko exposition was enjoyable not only from the standpoint of it's exploration of nihilism under hypothetical conditions but as a second layer, discussion on the consequences of power and leadership, and third as a single rhyme scheme verse that especially impressed given the precision of subject matter.. i will not go on any longer with this but im glad i decided to stop in and break down this battle in particular. red i think you have everything you need to champ a league even as talented as the AOWL - but you're relying too much on yourself, and not trusting the reader to meet you halfway. if you let some of that control go as a writer you'll be surprised how it stays afloat.

im voting for zygote.



thanks guys