WORD
it looks like maybe there was roughly 2-line overlap between you guys on what I thought was good and what i didn't like. And from Lars sections the rhyming/ rhythm was super consistent, but sometimes the wording (especially on end rhymes) made me scratch my head a bit. MMLP ran hot/ cold, the parts I didnt like from him missed rhymes or had very weird phrasing but the rest of his material was on point, and had some of my favorite lines
Jumped the gun on saying you guys were not on the same level, but I still think just a little more consistency would've massively improved the verse.
Cant really safely offer advice then, maybe try to mesh your transitions a little smoother/ go more lines apiece before switching off
I guess most of my criticism is stemming from the fact that this was a quick key, haha!
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Originally Posted by PancakeBrah
I'm going to start off on a tangent.
when I write, lately, I feel as if I begin by stringing together ambient ideas and concepts, then i realize I'm just typing the words coffee, tawdry, and autumn over and over and over, again, then I pass out dru-
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