[Objective]

I can't say whether is good or wack because I couldn't even get past the fifth or sixth sentence before I decided to stop reading. To me this kind of style with no structure usually means a shitload of multis and/or defining what dope rhymeschemes should be. But there were no rhymes at all, just a lot of uninteresting sentences (yeah, I scoped through the text to see if there was anything more but couldn't really find any).

Had there been some sort of structure the way its written and some rhymes it would be a lot better (if it's freeverse poetry you're attempting it's just not good altogether, it's actually wack af), some mediocre story alone won't do shit no matter what you tried to do. For the time being I don't really have any more constructive criticism to give you as this seems to be what you really need to focus on first and foremost.