Zygote - Some of the rhyming was sick, some of it was off. You repeated a couple of words in the midst of the ensuing avalanche of continuous multis. It seems that you, Frank and Red Glare are known to hold a rhyme scheme for a long time but I personally think it's a great indication of skill: it just restricts the piece itself! I know there are better ways of saying certain lines but you insist on keeping the same flow for the complete journey. Okay, so the verse. I felt it met the topic kind of since I don't really see how the leader at hand, a nihilist minister and leader of Russia, uses humor to get himself out of a steep hole. I see how there is a lack of humor in the situation, but there is no visible strain of humorousness I could sense in the verse. Yeah, it wasn't a bulls eye for me this week sir but an honorable attempt at something different and very you, of course. I just wish it would've encompassed the theme in an undoubtable, pronounced fashion.
Red Glare - Hmmmm.... you get loads of cool points for actually having the guts to undertake something like this. That is the plus side: motivation for illustrating a character, digging up numerous quotes and setting out to define how the man must've been in a group conversation - displaying that dialogue for the reader to sift through and explore. Beyond the madness of the atomic bomb quotient. I say "hmmm" because it was really sprawled out. I can't think of one instance where the flow truly "rolled on" and I was captivated by the content. I wasn't bored at any point of the verse which was another highlight. It's just that it wasn't woven together eloquently at all, but strewn about in bits & pieces like someone gluing hair onto their head and passing it off as a wig. The beginning segment reminded me of the way Lord Shivas Siq Al used to write on HollaFront, if you know who I am referring to. The lines were drawn out, the rhymes imaginative but foundationally on the weak-side, that is to say, they weren't sharply connected but recited loosely. A bit chaotic in terms of structure. I feel like it may seem like I'm shafting you last week and this week by voting against you but my voting instincts cause me to be more appreciative of work that can be daringly kinetic AND symmetrical. I'm voting against you not because of a boring story - it was a good story and creative execution, but it was unorganized to me. It looks like you were 65% through a rough draft edit, then decided to patch up the loose ends and call it a day, tbh. Although, you did meet the topic more than Zygote did.
Red, one day I will vote for you... one day... hang in there. Nice showing from both. I'm going for Zygote because even though it was vague with the topic, it had a solid texture I could vibe with on more levels than Red's.
Vote - Zygote
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