I like this Mr J. But, I feel with you, that you always start slow, without much fire to your kettle, so to speak. I mean every writer has this problem now and then, but I notice that sometimes you struggle with initiating this fire. But, once you get it to the tipping point you shine brilliantly. And sometimes you scorch yourself because of letting the fire get too hot and not being able to control the content and the material. And so, your verse dissolves in the chaotic and rampant spread of this fire that you initiated. Here you did not suffer from the latter problem and delivered a fine display of introspective questioning on the components that make up this basic inquiries of the world, as well as its workings.
My favorite part starts from: "what a twisted world that we weaved extravagant" to the finish. You depicted this observational viewpoint that was almost neutral, with a hint of anarchy. It was well done. Also one thing I'm now noticing is that I wasn't fond of "corruption can gain a rage" it sounds strange, and though I kind of understand what you're aiming for, it still does not really work out.
But. either than that good work. I enjoyed the read.
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