cool battle. pretty evenly matched here
objective- very nice verse. the start was a little too basic but the italicized part was pretty damn dope.
a situation where meditation and monks meet with a drunks honesty.
The sentences commences references consciously,
my fave line of the battle right there. it flowed better in some spots than others. just the right mix of abstractness and concrete tangible thoughts combined. good work
inno- good story telling. I thought you definitely had the more thought out plot and story arch of the two here. but your structure was kinda basic in some parts. you needed more inners and multis. overall a good verse, it kept me interested and I enjoyed reading the whole thing. sometimes I cant wait for a verse to end.
two cool verses that I was into but one edged it out here and my
vote- objective
|