Vulgar. Now I know what it's like to read 60+ lines lol. It is mentally challenging, and I don't want to be challenged. I just like to breeze through the rap, sum it up in a few words and keep it moving. This piece was rather lanky but it wasn't intricately complex to compensate. Just a easy going flow highlighted by the lets smoke a blunt line. That line really put the piece in perspective for me as a laid back, 'I'm just gonna kick it with you' kind of flow. A lot of lines but they weren't really necessarily crucial to your rants development; more like you just wanted to write a lot of lines this week loll. I've seen you drop way iller. I wasn't pleased with your work this week. 'Nothing going for this verse. I am looking for quotes but I would be reaching. Maybe writing is your bond and kinship friendship? Looking for a connection to the topic. Can't wrap my mind around ambiguity right now. Hope to see you full strength in a few weeks.
TopicalDood5. The thoughts are bouncing around with a confusing candance. The footing of the first verse is not grounded enough to really stabilize a solid foundation for the rest of the verse. I feel as though you maybe should create a recognizable flow and then break off into your pattern frenzy; because otherwise the reader is just jarred with rhythm, but the actual meaning is lost in translation. "It's so cold - they're either frozen or prone to explosive conniptions" Great line - it really was the beginning of the momentum you failed to create within the first stanza. The schemes your fond of worked well there until the last few lines were you once again took your foot off the gas; creating a passive like segway into a even 'passiver' finale. The singsong schemes had a fade feel to them; but they were not conclusively powerful; where as a more traditional scheme may have succeeded with that. But again, you have your own style. Your writers voice began to shine through and it clinched the battle for you.
Overall. Tough battle to judge. Vulgar was simply in the scheme of things but he also conveyed a voyeur hippy user friendly verse that I favored in contrast to a experiment of ABCDEFG schemes lol. Problem is, Vulgar verse had nothing going for that verse. No quotes or direction. Where as TopicalDood5 took on different facets of the topic; bringing more depth to the table. A real wishy washy flow but the better material and substance;
Battle could've been better MVGT TopicalDood5
Vote - TopicalDood5
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