[sral]

I thought Vulgar did dope with Crunch, it was an unexpected almost flash fictional piece with a twist haha! It was crazy to think he did so much in so few lines with that, I loved it, thought maybe a snail could have been better used than a beetle maybe? But regardless, that's illy.

I wasn't as keen on "flowering woman" it seemed to lack the originality and creative spark of your first. I'm guessing that's why you sandwiched it between the two? I could be wrong, but this was your weakest third to me personally. It wasn't bad it just didn't grab my attention like the first haiku did and felt a little stagnant in comparison, esp given how good that first was.

Your third piece had some great imagery for so few lines/words. The play on vaunted/haunted was a nice touch, and the broken home with the tree out front conjured up this visual for me or an attempt to play happy families but the tree was almost a kind of mask hiding what went on behind it in the house? It also gave off this lonely feel, to me, maybe not as intriguing as your first haiku here but certainly good in it's own sense. Nice work.



Des: I loved the wording in your first, to start with the title "Lynching" then open with the words "It is amazing" made me laugh. So glad you didn't follow it up that route, but even the fact you choose that title and then those opening words just got my dry/black sense of humour to be honest. Also given your exchanges with Veritas, seeing you use the term "bible-black night" to describe it was brilliant I thought. Completely unexpected from you.

Your second was great as well, maybe not so stron in your word choice, but what I enjoyed in this one was you taking a very real possibly global problem and attempting to tackle it in -20 words? The closing line was really battle-esque, but that can work here I think, it was different to your first but I enjoyed this one also, even if for different reasons. The closer served it really well.

Your third was probably the weakest of your three IMO, it wasn't bad, it just don't really have anything that stood out either humorously or to do with the imagery or even creatively like your first did. I basically have this battle 2-2 with one "weaker" poem each that I didn't care for as much.

Vulgar has my fave one in the beetle under the leaf, but I actually prefer Des' two that I liked to the a Vulgar two that I like... so I gotta give this to Destro. Nice battle fellas!