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sral · 07-12-2015, 03:02 PM

Slattern, the way she dressed, but natural, amazing breasts.
Pattern: this pays her rent, happens I spray her legs.
After, we make a mess

This was the only section I didn't particularly like, thought it felt a little out of place given the content and context of the rest of the piece, you know?

Rest was very well written, Rikoshay-esque at times as I read it. Keep that pen moving!

07-12-2015, 03:02 PM	#6
sral LARSLARSLARSLARSLARS Join Date: Aug 2014 Location: CRUMPETVILLE Posts: 8,614 Battle Record: 28-3 Champed - Gimmick Battle League - The Winter Topical - Topical Martyrs - Lime Green Poetry Association - Lyric Olympics - Art of Writing League - Guerrilla Writing League (2x) - Black August II Rep Power: 85899396	Slattern, the way she dressed, but natural, amazing breasts. Pattern: this pays her rent, happens I spray her legs. After, we make a mess This was the only section I didn't particularly like, thought it felt a little out of place given the content and context of the rest of the piece, you know? Rest was very well written, Rikoshay-esque at times as I read it. Keep that pen moving! __________________ - Netcees Rebuttal Tourney - Art of Writing League (x 4) - AOWL Season 11 Champion (Undefeated Season)