[kannon]

No, no, no. Bags, you're doing it all wrong. You gotta do what I did. I dated my boss a few years back.

In november of whatever year it was, I found out that she'd never seen my favorite childhood movie, Surf Ninjas.

So for Christmas, I bought it for her. Then I told her, let me know when you're free, I'll bring the beer and popcorn.

Then two weeks later she invited me over to watch the movie.

The we started fuckin.

Then a few months later, she asked me to move in with her when her lease expired in 3 months.

Then when I said yes, she said that things were moving too fast.

Then she broke up with me.

Then she got engaged three months later to some other dude and I still had to see her 5 days a week.

Then I quit, got a job that paid way more, and started fucking a chick who was 9 years younger than her.

Take notes, man. I nailed that shit.