[Witty]

This was a really cool battle, both had well written and interesting poems.

Des - I like the rhythm of this piece, it was easy to read and follow. You wrote to the given topic very well and I really liked the idea of the main character turning to music to find solace from a destructive home life, I can relate to that in a way although my circumstances certainly were not as extreme as the one portrayed in this piece lol I was left wanting a bit more of an explanation as to what happened and why. The piece also felt a little unresolved, maybe some sort of vindication for the character, but it ended with him just as upset and hurt as when the poem began, which I'm not saying is not a valid way to end, but I dunno, it left me wanting more. Very good piece tho, enjoyed it a lot.

Inno - Your imagery is incredible, you like to paint pictures which is why the format of a poem really suits how you write, and you painted the fuck out of this lol I felt like I was in the room watching everything unfold, seeing the people dance, the sound of the trumpets, I felt like I was in a dimly lit bar in Chicago during the late 50's lol I could smell the smoke, the clinking of glasses, it is a sign of a very good writer when you can make someone feel this way using just words. An impressive display of the talent you have as a writer, and thoroughly enjoyable. Props bro. Only criticism is one I say a lot in your pieces, SPEND MORE TIME MAKING SURE SHIT IS SPELLED CORRECTLY LMAO.


This was very close, Des proved he is no slouch as a writer and his piece was well written, well imagined, and followed the topic, my only wish was for it to be a little more well rounded, and for there to be more of a conclusion at the end. Inno's was just pure poetry man, the image he created was crystal clear, so dope.

Vote - Inno