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Old 07-04-2015, 05:27 PM   #9
Inno
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,026
Battle Record: 26-54


Champed
- Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League

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Ok so this battle is. Example of what could happen to most of you.


Ribbit.

Great post man i enjoyed the diction and the way you rhymed. Thought it was good but not over the top. Though i have to be completely honest when i say that, for me. This piece came off more like an open mic rather than a poem. I feel like you went in an out of that through out the piece. You have to be carefull with your word choice. Poetry can sometimes be tricky in that aspect. Tbh i felt like this was an attempt at a spoken word type of style and it just came off as a simple verse. Great job with that but you lost that poetic sense that made your piece a poem and not an open mic. I suggest next time try not to rhyme. I enjoyed this piece though. Thank you for the read.

Snoop

Man talent can be hidden. Even in tardiness pr haste lol. This was dope. Not offend ribbit but this had that poetic sense/ voice i was looking for. You took the topic and made it your own which at times can be difficult, so some one grabs a difficult topic and makes it look easy, i mean what choice dp i have but to praise them for there effort. I do see the haste in your post but its not too much which makes me think if u really prepared youd prolly write some hof type of shit. Dope stuff man your writing talent shines through out this piece.
I enjoyed the format as well.


Overall

I feel like ribbit just fell a bit short in his direction. Which is Understandable. Though snoop came in a dropped like a poetry vet. Lol. Dope pieces from both of you but i felt like snoop had a more poetically inclined piece. Where as ribbit got lost in the translation. By no means am i saying snoop cleaned the floor with ribbit. I just feel like snoop had a better grasp pf the situation and posted accordingly. Thank you both for posting lettimg me read your poetry. Plz continue to post in this league

Snoop
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