ribbit - You write well and I thought the presentation was good. The subject matter came off as 'regular' in the sense that a lot of the gripes your narrator had are communicated in a common way on a daily basis. It reminded me of someone who's middle aged and venting their grievances with the world while they are performing at a musical or a session. It was cool writing; you show promise as a participant in this league.
Sn00p - A Neanderthal first worshipping the sun, and choosing Pagan deity over multiple generations facing walls of stone and being unintelligible. This piece spoke to me of human progress, and the end of a type of ignorance - undiscovered religion. Although it is a controversial human obsession, religion, it did help to take us out of the Stone Age, paving the way for civilization and all of that good stuff. This is probably very un-scientific, but I played Empire Earth and I remember the epochs, dammit.
My vote goes to Sn00p. I enjoyed his style a bit more. ribbit went into more detail, but Sn00p had subtle touches that pinpointed the picture better.
|