in my dreams I hear hymns
but i awake and hear him
coming home as he's burning with bourbon
heading upstairs to make me sing along
to his shanties and songs
while the wood creaks and stings with his purpose
it cuts through the air too, the switch that I picked
thick, cuz fuck him and pure for a moment
it cuts through the air and into the flesh
and changes things forever like a twister
and in between cries, I'm forced to admire
how a thought can be both a scream and a whisper
and now when I try I remember her cries
better than I can remember the glint in her eyes
she was my sister. she died.
he was questioned.
he lied.
I was six. she was five.
and I miss her.
this blows. so I blow.
scraped my loose cash into used brass.
so I could turn my screams in the dark into Ds & C sharps.
now my dad claps loudest at my shows - he's the proudest
thanks dad
asshole
I hope you choke on your pride
til you fucking die
but I doubt it