read this battle earlier today...good stuff
JW
felt like you took me there. i dunno i felt like i was in the middle of the excitement of war.
the sounds and the lights flashing all around me..i felt that. i felt the pressure your character delt withcan i say i appreciate the way you madde your story relate to current events with your boston line i thought that was clever. great stuff tbh i mean it dragged just a tad towards the middle but your last part..was dope man really brought it to a cool space.
NG
this felt completely different from the last verse i read from you..this had a more poetic tone to it..felt more compact as far as the flow goes, but thats the short lines and all..great movement tho..you managed to draw a course through your words that i followed fairly easy..i mean great storyline progession, flow and transitions..ending was a bit weird but overall it fit..
overall
i think i got JW taking this..i thought his take on the subject was more impactful and becuase of the angle he chose to write his story in..it played much better in terms of who wrote to the topic better..who managed to bring something out of that qoute..and i felt like JW did that a bit better...great battle tbh.
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