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Old 06-22-2015, 11:22 AM   #10
Vulgar
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,422
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Genocide - Pretty aggressively told, and a fun telling. The wording - somewhat awkward at times. The multis really propelled it forward and you pulled off the approach well enough. Great concept with the auction. I just wish you took more time with it in weaving together original references to all of the films and characters. It seemed like a "pick and choose" process with a random gunfight in the end to wrap it all up, concluding with a "the end."

UnbornBuddha - Neat work here, I liked the ending where Pesci is the mastermind behind the gassing, lol. Vintage UnbornBuddha flow used in this one, the beginning stanza being the one I liked most. The first four lines had a GZA rhythm that I could vibe with. Conceptually, there were enough surprises and plot twists to keep me engaged as the reader. The Sicilians line was solid and crucial to the build up. Detective Ignatius was an interesting sounding name and added atmosphere. The mention of Sir Arthur at the end was a humorous touch. Overall I can say I was satisfied with what you wrote here.

Vote - UnbornBuddha
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