Netcees - View Single Post - Round 3 - Quarterfinals: Ullr vs. Clutterbuck

UnbornBuddha · 06-22-2015, 01:14 AM

Spectacular take of both combatants. First battle, Ullr, hasn't been no showed, which is good to see. What's up with the small picture though?

ULLR: The first stanza flowed really well, and it captured the quintessence of the portrait. It had this feeling of despair, and hope intermeshed and was just done tastefully. The gatekeeper allusion and the oblivion of trying to bypass the gatekeeper through force led to oblivion. You also made the light a central theme that kept showing up throughout the text. And with each mention there was a different spectrum and continuum presented, contrasting it with the internal darkness of the heroic invader, who was incinerated not by the gatekeeper, but by the judgement casted upon him, in relation to what lurked inside him. I thought you did lose some momentum in the second stanza, and I didn't think you quite matched the standard you set in the first stanza. Nevertheless, the third one picked up a bit the lack of distinction, and prominently ending by championing not a character, but the thematic presentation you intended. Good read.

Clutterbuck: In a way the writing is more refined than ULLR's, and his is quite polished as well. Week to week you adapt and morph your writing, and while it has it stylistic flare that accompanies a Lars verse, there is still an innovative force that continues to unravel. You excel at wording concepts clearly, and sometimes your writing presents more simplistic, it is not because you cannot present advanced thoughts, but you find more foothold in presenting things in a more succinct refined manner. The story was a about an arachnoid trying to survive being exterminated in a world that is mysterious, and bigger than it. Spring cleaning comes to mind. The scene took place in the bathroom, and it was quite clever. However, I did not think it captured the image like ULLR's did.

This is hard decision, both competitors did extremely fine jobs, and it really came down to what story etched a more ostentatious sketch on my mind, imprinting its contents, so at the end I take it to be the most influential in remembrance of the verses.

Vote: ULLR

06-22-2015, 01:14 AM	#10
UnbornBuddha Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2014 Posts: 1,008 Battle Record: 23-10 Champed - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 5 Rep Power: 23856376	Spectacular take of both combatants. First battle, Ullr, hasn't been no showed, which is good to see. What's up with the small picture though? ULLR: The first stanza flowed really well, and it captured the quintessence of the portrait. It had this feeling of despair, and hope intermeshed and was just done tastefully. The gatekeeper allusion and the oblivion of trying to bypass the gatekeeper through force led to oblivion. You also made the light a central theme that kept showing up throughout the text. And with each mention there was a different spectrum and continuum presented, contrasting it with the internal darkness of the heroic invader, who was incinerated not by the gatekeeper, but by the judgement casted upon him, in relation to what lurked inside him. I thought you did lose some momentum in the second stanza, and I didn't think you quite matched the standard you set in the first stanza. Nevertheless, the third one picked up a bit the lack of distinction, and prominently ending by championing not a character, but the thematic presentation you intended. Good read. Clutterbuck: In a way the writing is more refined than ULLR's, and his is quite polished as well. Week to week you adapt and morph your writing, and while it has it stylistic flare that accompanies a Lars verse, there is still an innovative force that continues to unravel. You excel at wording concepts clearly, and sometimes your writing presents more simplistic, it is not because you cannot present advanced thoughts, but you find more foothold in presenting things in a more succinct refined manner. The story was a about an arachnoid trying to survive being exterminated in a world that is mysterious, and bigger than it. Spring cleaning comes to mind. The scene took place in the bathroom, and it was quite clever. However, I did not think it captured the image like ULLR's did. This is hard decision, both competitors did extremely fine jobs, and it really came down to what story etched a more ostentatious sketch on my mind, imprinting its contents, so at the end I take it to be the most influential in remembrance of the verses. Vote: ULLR Last edited by UnbornBuddha; 06-22-2015 at 05:19 PM.