[Mr. J]

This was a pretty dope battle, I enjoyed both entries

Ullr, your verse was very well written, that opening was vicious
the technical aspect of that was amazing & really left me enthralled
after departed I felt like it slowly lost it's edge but then it picked back up

Screaming, angrily marches "Fuck off, you can't handle me, martian!"
Gestures with a fist and a sign from the gang which he hearkened
"Let me through, man, or damnit, we sparkin'!"

this little section was my only dislike about this whole piece
maybe it's because I find dialogue to be a pain to work with
although my first verse of this series used a ton of dialogue which I didn't edit in who said what
but why should I? anyway I felt like this was a dope written man
I really enjoyed the well rounded aspect of your verse minus the quoted
anyway nice work...

Lars, Damn it man that ending was great adding to the build up
I really enjoy your technical skill and it's truly an inspiration to watch you work
I felt like this may be one of my favorite verses from you to be honest
looking at the votes against you I don't know if there was something I missed
so I had to take it upon myself to read it again..

Grinwauld scanned the vast retreat for all he could use
before he ambled to retrieve what he thought was a morsel of food.
As he neared toward it he knew, the object was no small snack,
but what he saw was his true loves cephalothorax!
Her exo-skeletal war mask and strewn body parts litter the web,
with Arachnia's head held in his small hands, he attempts to kiss her again.

I had to look up 'cephalothorax' and I was like ohhhhhhhh..
dope shit for real though. it kind of reminds me of Queelag from Dark Souls
anyway man slick shit....

v/This is a tough one to vote on because both dudes came from opposite sides of the spectrum
both had some great delivery in their own aspect and seemed evenly matched to me
making me feel like I need to really think about it, but when I think it becomes a lost cause
so..I'm going to base this on whose verse stuck with me the most, we have a great beginning & a great ending
to end we have to begin, and to begin we have to end, making this a tough decision
I loved Ullr's opening as much as I did Lars' ending...but I felt that Lars rounded it off for me
this was verrrrry close in my eyes and both came correct, but I feel Lars may have edged it over with the plot & ending..
dope battle though fella's


v/Lars