Pretty dope stuff guys.
I feel like Clutbuck's verse was told pretty well. It's difficult at times to keep a story and have it make sense and keep a solid flow to it. You managed to do both, but I just felt like the story wasn't that great of a story. Technically, it was well written, just wasn't that great to me.
And, I'm going under the assumption Clutbuck is Lars who is Baron Mynd!??
Lol, what's that about. Anyways, Ullr had a pretty dope verse to me.
"Wrought of iron, his helmet gleamed -
gilded grates which are seldom seen -
many millenia he's beheld the screams
of those unworthy, most are selfish fiends
whose self esteem turned to self obsession -
the spell of greed for which they held their weapons
and enveloped their dreams in a hell without exit.
They'd moan and plead but didn't know he'd seen -
a whole life passing in a moment's leave for when he lowers the screen
produced is a glowing beam, a golden stream that pierces souls with ease
and if the soul is clean its light is shone indeed, a pure reflection of their hopes and dreams."
I felt like that whole beginning verse was sick. There was times when the rhyme scheme wasn't on point, but it wasn't nothing too bad that made me dislike it. The whole verse was well rounded, and it felt like you wrote more about the topic at hand than Clutbuck's verse. Real solid verse, I enjoyed reading both but Im'a have to vote for:
vUllr
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