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Old 06-20-2015, 10:52 AM   #7
Objective
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clutbuck View Post
what i was referring to was the rhyme placement, theres a lot of similar sounding words within the lines
Ye, I understood that was what you meant, it's just that I can't see how this can sound nice on a beat with switch up's in flow etc. like these:

''bear torches no fear in the darkness can you
rely on your own orbit and get the raw picture
toast vodka and stroganhoff with ya from queens to corsica
no fear in my nightmares day dreams speak a soft whisper
puzzle the pieces together my nuzzle the muzzle is on ya
speaking to puddles the letter B bounce off and cause a oscillation''

It looks good and reads well together as a whole but I'm struggling to see how it can be executed nice on a beat. I'd like to hear it though.
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