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Old 06-11-2015, 08:15 PM   #10
Razah
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Chicago.
Posts: 1,088
Battle Record: 8-10


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Veritas:
She plays her song,
freedom and creativity intertwine in a lover's embrace.

That stood out to me, I dunno why. It was pretty simple, but it just stood out. As far as the rest of the verse, wasn't really feeling it. I'm huge on how verses actually sound when I read them. If the flow isn't smooth, I just don't dislike it, but I feel like the words have to be that much better. The verse was okay but, nothing spectacular.

Clutterbuck:
Interesting twist on your topic. When I first started reading it, I didn't think you'd go in that direction, so that was pretty cool. The wording, rhyming & flow were pretty on point too. I don't know, I just feel like I could related to the whole 'idea' of this topic. Soo, that to me, is why Im'a have to give you the battle.

vClutbuck
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