Clutbuck...
I enjoyed the versatility of your verse as it slowly unfolds
it's like watching a flower open up after a nice rainy day..
I found your verse to be intriguing especially on this one note..
They function by gleaning it's energy through their scales
so this sudden extreme has left them weakened and pale.
the descriptive visuals of this and the following lines are great
you carry just enough attention for the piece to really pick up in pace
I like the way that things escalate quickly and just draw you in
this was such an exemplary section I hate that I didn't write it
"READY?" he grunts while they hang on his word
as the vedette adjust in a mechanical whirr.
Binx blasts an assertive "AIM!" to the squad he's commanding,
as the polax-cannon then searches for a Point of Optimum Damage.
nice work...
Sn00p
Your verse was nothing less than amazing, the descriptive nature of your piece is compelling
it doesn't take much to really get into your verse when you start it with
The shutters clatter and shuffle faster as the lens opens and attempts focus.
With vents smokin', engines creak while they bend to heave the troubled matter
up the plastered but snowy ramp. A glowing lamp illuminates the path
ascending the glacial mass. Its light flickers, almost as though it warns
it could die quicker than anticipated. The back-up batteries slowly warm,
and before the snowy storm has dissipated
You know you are in for a very well crafted verse..
the rest get's so interesting I wonder how long it took
I really enjoyed the fuck out of your verse...what else can I say
v/Sn00p
i really enjoyed Clutbuck's verse because of the way the story switches up and draws you in
he really painted an image that was worth the read, and should be admired for it's versatility
but when I read Sn00p's verse i was drawn in from the beginning of those first two lines
but it get's a grip on you and just leaves you following it to the very end
and the ending was very well done, the build up is amazing and I thought it was just an amazing verse...
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